Don't Carry the World Upon Your Shoulders
by justanothergeekygirl
Summary: Play Hey Jude (Across the Universe version) when reading this for maximum feels. This is just a little something something I've thought up of. I hope it's okay. Season 9 Episode 9 spoilers.


Dean comes back to the bunker alone. He just returned from burying Kevin's body. He buried it and not burned it because he plans to bring him back somehow. For the time being, he needs a rest. The bunker is too quiet as he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the cellar before heading to his bedroom to rest. He can hear Crowley's bored grunts from downstairs but he ignores it. He turns on his radio to a random channel just for some noise.

Dean had just tuned in when they're about to start the next song. The DJ announces the next song, "Hey Jude by the Beatles."

The piano starts playing and Dean closes his eyes as emotions start washing over him. He thinks of all the people he has loved and lost. It all started from his mother. She died when he was four but he remembers her last few months very clearly. The conscious mind only forms at the age of four onwards, the memories he has of his mother are scarce but vivid all the same. He remembers how warm she was, how soft her touch was. She sang Hey Jude to him whenever he couldn't sleep because it was her favourite song. Little did she know how much the song could relate to him now.

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better..._

His father mourned his mother's death and vowed to seek revenge. It was this reason that Sam and Dean has grown up into this horrid life. His father may not have been the best father figure in the world but he did care for them and he bred Dean into what he is now. He died when Dean was 27. Bobby, whom Dean has also lost recently, was his adoptive father. Bobby was proud of the boys and what they've done. He always made them feel special.

Dean remembers everybody whose life he had taken. Every name and each of their faces haunt him in his sleep. There were so many of them, Dean had lost count of the exact amount. All the pain he inflicted on them, all that they had to suffer because of him. Human or Supernatural being, so long as he cared about them and tried to help them, they get killed or tortured. All of them, Jo, Ellen, John, Bobby, and now Kevin. It's all his fault.

He can't fight the tears any longer and they spill out without restraint. He cries and sobs like a little child but he doesn't care because there is no one left to hear him. There is no one left to hold him and attempt to comfort him. Sam is gone, Cas has to keep away and Charlie is not even on planet Earth. He cries for everyone. He apologises to them for all the trouble he caused them. He beats himself up as he always does.

_Anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulder..._

He sees his mother, smiling and holding a hand out to him. "Mom?" He croaks and she smiles sadly at him. He runs to her and she holds him in her arms. He start crying again and another figure appears. It is his father, John. He too comes and embraces Dean. Slowly and one-by-one, more people appear and come into the group hug. They stay silent but Dean feels the comforting words that they don't say. He recognises each one of them, Ellen and Jo, Bobby and Sam, Charlie and even Garth. They smile sadly and sympathetically. He feels the embrace fuel him and fill him with strength.

_Hey Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her..._

He laughs happily when he sees all of them again. he hugs each and everyone of them. He tells them all that he never had the chance to say before. The weight is lifted off his shoulder and the pain is gone. All there exists is the happy reunion. Tears still stream down his cheeks and gets tuck in his ever increasing wrinkles. His spirits are lifted and all of them tell him how wonderful he has been and none of it was his fault. He finally gets some peace.

_Nanana.. Hey Jude..._

Dean wakes up and finds that the song ended long ago and a few hours has passed. The momentary happiness he found in his dream starts to seep away and the feeling of loss and grief comes back. There's nothing he can do about it. He raises the whiskey bottle to his lips and drains it in one go, hoping to slip back into unconsciousness.

**Okay, nobody said it was a happy ending thing. I just needed to vent out because I've been thinking about Hey Jude a lot and my video editing suck. I am better at writing and Kevin's death came just in time. So whilst I'm grieving, why not make use of the emotions?**


End file.
